As long as life is full and free
Let me live and still by me
But when my days on Earth are done
An Eternal Rest I’ve surely won
Rob me not of the right to die
Let my soul to heaven fly.

When mind and heart and body fail
And doctors work to no avail
Cease the needles painful prick
No more tubes into me stick
Another day, another week
Prolonged life I would not seek.

Remember that I loved you so
Say goodbye and let me go
Pray for strength and then depart
Keep my love within your heart.

Dedicated to my Angel on Earth, Aunt Gini, with love.

The holidays often surface emotions from the past with greater intensity. Unresolved conflict, hurt, and past regrets are heightened with the approaching end of the New Year. Maybe goals were unfulfilled, or relationships came to an end, or a loved one passed away, or a deep family conflict remains an open wound. Many report to me that the pain can become unbearable, the sorrow of a missed loved one seems inescapable, or the motivation to get along with a particular family member for one meal seems just too much.

This holiday season, focus on one word to pull you toward happiness, fulfillment, and contentment: HOPE. There is always HOPE. Hope surfaces faith, love, joy, and the beauty in all of us to turn to others and GIVE. The act of giving pushes away pain, hurt, and isolation.

Follow this simple exercise to prepare your heart to take in all the joy around you this holiday season:

1. Write down 10 things you are most grateful for today. Read them over. Your heart will fill with gratitude, bring you to the present, and create thoughts of joy.

2. On 10 notes write “I am grateful for you.” And personally hand them (or if not possible mail them) to the 10 most important people in your life. A bonus would be to include a positive affirmation about each person that you find endearing. Such as, “I am grateful for you. You are a great listener.” – What a beautiful gift. Create place cards for your holiday table, use them as stocking stuffers, or labels for gifts.

Grieving can take on new pain over the holidays:
Knowing that a very important person may include the memory of a loved one, write down your gratitude for them and place the note in a photo album or next to a picture of them. By embracing gratitude for the beautiful memories you have, you are holding their spirit close and honoring every piece of their life.

3. Do the one thing you enjoy the most this holiday. Take time to nurture yourself. You will have more energy to give, resentment will diminish, and you will take in the good in everyone. Everyone seems more pleasant when you are relaxed!

And finally, center yourself with this thought;

Gratitude, the act of giving, pulls me closer to others,
to creation, to hope, and to love.

I am always here for you.
Please feel free to email me at nova@stepstonesforlife.com
or call 949.858.2442

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Happy Holidays!

Peace,

~ Nova

The Five Stages of Grief:

1. Denial
Shock and disbelief. You can’t believe they are gone. Are you sure? Is a typical question, needing to see or hear for yourself. This stage may last a few moments, days, or more.

2. Anger
Why did you leave me?! Hurt, feelings of abandonment, injustice, and loss surface. Anger may be directed toward the deceased, the world, or even yourself.

3. Bargaining
If I had only…thoughts circulate in your mind. This loss hurts, how could I have prevented this pain?

4. Depression
Feelings of numbness, inward anger, and intense sadness.

5. Acceptance
The dark cloud of anger, intense sadness and mourning begins to lift. The loss seems real, undeniable, and nonnegotiable.

There are many strong and uncomfortable feelings associated with grief. You may feel anger, abandonment, fear, guilt, and depression. Facing these intense emotions can be very difficult. Failing to work trough the five stages of grief is actually more stressful and strenuous on your body, mind, and spirit. The best way to work through grief is to face your feelings, do not try to hide how you feel, let it out. Healing will take place when you allow yourself to move through your feelings and all the stages of grief.

Reach out for support, get enough hugs, and know you are cared for.

With Care,

Life Coach Nova